Harlots' Sauce Radio

Where Something Delicious is Always Cooking....
This Month's Contents

Podcast Interview................................. "My Illness Was a Blessing"

News and Politics.........  Tony Hoffart
Current Issues..............  Lindsey Kay
Technology...................  Natasha Stillman
Humor...........................  Vicola England, Kirk Starr
Science.........................  Paxton Daryl Branson
World Events................  Ilias Kountoupis, Peter McCarthy
Sports...........................  Patricia Volonakis Davis
Religion.........................  Mr. Snowy
Women's Issues............  Charlotte Steggs
Leading a Good Life......  Tom Hames,  Miranda Krebbs
On Growing Older.......... Cyd Madsen, Michelle Solange
Motherhood...................  Grace Bon, Amy Flanigan

This Month's Guest Writer................  Amber Burke

About the Writers at Harlots' Sauce Radio
email this writer at: michellesolange@harlotssauce.com





  I am cleaning out my apartment today, purging things I no
longer need, anticipating the move I will make in two months
to a nicer, more quiet neighbourhood. I've stumbled upon a
little pile of candid photos of my mom that date back as far as
the late 40's when she was simply a little wee thing.
  In one particular photo, she is around three years old.
She's sitting in her aunt's lap in a meadow, her socks pulled
up over her shins. She has on a white dress with modestly
puffy short sleeves, and a simple Peter Pan type collar. The
dress falls half way between her knees and her hips, and
though the photo is faded, I can make out a bit of a flower
pattern on the fabric. One of her arms reaches down, fingers
wrapped around her aunt's thumb, while the other arm is
extended out in front as though she’s about to shake the
hand of an approaching visitor.
  I know she is actually pointing at something. I know this
because this is the way my mom would motion for me to
behold something that interested her. She has a mop of curly
white-blonde hair, and fine light haired eyebrows. Her brows
are furrowed as if it is too sunny, but the sky in this photo is
overcast. Her cheeks are still a little chubby, still baby-like.
Her mouth looks rather cherubic, a trait she’s carried with her
all her life. The face she is making, is a discerning expression
that I can identify with to this day as one of quiet knowing. I
can recognise and feel many characteristics that I’m familiar
with in her.
   For brief moments as I look at these photos, I see parts of
myself and realise just how bound together the two of us are.
It's slightly strange to look at my mom in pictures before I
knew her, before she even knew herself! It's like putting one
hand in cold water and the other in warm; both very familiar,
yet there exists a detachment.
  Now my mom is well into the throes of dementia and she's
back to that place in the photograph. She's like a child -
merely existing, reacting to her surroundings. Only unlike a
child, she's not learning this time around. And as I sit here,
hating the sound of my own weeping, I am thankful for how
much of her own life she provided to me. She created me
and molded me; my mother, the cutie with the blonde mop of
hair. She is an unbelievable, wonderful woman.
  I suppose I better get back to cleaning now...

                                   ----May 2008
The Cutie with the Blonde Mop of Hair

Michelle Solange