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This Month's Contents
Podcast Interview................................. "My Illness Was a Blessing"
News and Politics......... Tony Hoffart
Current Issues.............. Lindsey Kay
Technology................... Natasha Stillman
Humor........................... Vicola England, Kirk Starr
Science......................... Paxton Daryl Branson
World Events................ Ilias Kountoupis, Peter McCarthy
Sports........................... Patricia Volonakis Davis
Religion......................... Mr. Snowy
Women's Issues............ Charlotte Steggs
Leading a Good Life...... Tom Hames, Miranda Krebbs
On Growing Older.......... Cyd Madsen, Michelle Solange
Motherhood................... Grace Bon, Amy Flanigan
This Month's Guest Writer................ Amber Burke
About the Writers at Harlots' Sauce Radio
Podcast Interview................................. "My Illness Was a Blessing"
News and Politics......... Tony Hoffart
Current Issues.............. Lindsey Kay
Technology................... Natasha Stillman
Humor........................... Vicola England, Kirk Starr
Science......................... Paxton Daryl Branson
World Events................ Ilias Kountoupis, Peter McCarthy
Sports........................... Patricia Volonakis Davis
Religion......................... Mr. Snowy
Women's Issues............ Charlotte Steggs
Leading a Good Life...... Tom Hames, Miranda Krebbs
On Growing Older.......... Cyd Madsen, Michelle Solange
Motherhood................... Grace Bon, Amy Flanigan
This Month's Guest Writer................ Amber Burke
About the Writers at Harlots' Sauce Radio
email this writer at: natashastillman@harlotssauce.com
The Creepy Invasion of My Privacy…
of the Evangelical Kind
*Shudder*
Natasha J. Stillman
A few years ago, I began writing a set of instructions for my funeral. I
know- morbid - but I was thinking of it as a way to ensure that, should I go
before my parents, I’d at least get the non-religious send-off that I want.
And being a writer, with an often out-of-control imagination, and always
looking for an excuse to write something, I took it upon myself to jot down
this short document, entitled, “When I Die:”
July 28, 2004
I saved it on my laptop, in "Miscellaneous" which is the file I put things in
I'd like to get back to at some point, and forgot about it. But a couple of
hours ago, I remembered that I wrote the "When I Die" document and
thought of something I’d wanted to add. I went back into my files, found
it, reread the thing I wrote, and when I got to the bottom, I froze:
of the Evangelical Kind
*Shudder*
Natasha J. Stillman
A few years ago, I began writing a set of instructions for my funeral. I
know- morbid - but I was thinking of it as a way to ensure that, should I go
before my parents, I’d at least get the non-religious send-off that I want.
And being a writer, with an often out-of-control imagination, and always
looking for an excuse to write something, I took it upon myself to jot down
this short document, entitled, “When I Die:”
July 28, 2004
- To Whom it May Concern:
When I die, I have some very simple requests. I do not want a
church service. As I do not believe in a god, that would be
hypocritical. I do
not want any prayers uttered over me or my ashes. I do not believe
in them and I WILL NOT appreciate them from the netherworld.
Any prayers chosen to be said over me are to be silent. I wish to
be cremated, and I wish my ashes to be scattered wherever orca
whales live – preferably in the waters off of Kaikoura, New Zealand,
where, hopefully they can do a general mingle with my husband’s
ashes which should be scattered on the mountains in Kaikoura –
alternate scattering could be in the San Juan Islands off the west
coast of the United States and Canada - so that my ashes may
float with the assorted dolphins and whales and other sea life. I
would
like a big party thrown at my funeral – no requiems, no hymns –
just loud, raucous party music. I would like people to eat good
food, drink lots and dance wildly. I will not change my mind. When I
die,
this is what I want. If these wishes are not followed, I will haunt
whoever is responsible for the rest of their days. I authorize Steven,
my husband and soul mate, to carry my wishes out. If, for some
reason, he is not available, I authorize one or any of my best
friends, __________(listed by name) to be entrusted with my
requests.
Oh yeah - and I want NO EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES to
prolong my life taken in the event that I am seriously mentally
incapacitated. That means, PULL THE PLUG after giving
people a chance to say goodbye. This authority SOLELY
rests with my husband, or if he’s not available, one or any
combination of the women mentioned above.
Sincerely,
Natasha J. Stillman
I saved it on my laptop, in "Miscellaneous" which is the file I put things in
I'd like to get back to at some point, and forgot about it. But a couple of
hours ago, I remembered that I wrote the "When I Die" document and
thought of something I’d wanted to add. I went back into my files, found
it, reread the thing I wrote, and when I got to the bottom, I froze:
- To Natasha
I have read your Will and I really feel sorry for you that you
did not believe in GOD. Please Natasha have some reverence
