Twenty-Five Clues the Man of Your Dreams Will Become the Man Your Children Only See on Weekends

by Patricia V. Davis Are you engaged to be married, but no one in your circle seems as rapturous about it as you are? Is it possible that they see something to which your infatuation might ─ just might ─ have blinded you? Well, once again, I, your Expert in Failed Relationships is here to […]

The Nun and the Stripper

by Peter McCarthy One of the challenges of being a sweet and innocent young lad recently escaped from the iron grip of the Sisters of Occasional Mercy, is that your fellow male Aussies feel it is their duty to thrust you into a world full of adventure. It all sounds like fun, but when you start […]

Walmart and Parents Elated With Childrens’ Draft Incentive

A Satire by Stefanie Freele Ballpark, Michigan: Mary Martha Seaton, age 42, eight months pregnant and proud mother of seven, pushes one full grocery cart and tugs another through the “Bed and Bath’ aisle of her nearest Walmart, ten miles away from her home in Ballpark Michigan. “I’ll be so glad when they build the […]

SPACE – The Final Y Front-ier?

The return of the space shuttle Endeavour on July 31 marked a great leap forward in the history of underpants. Returning to Earth was Astronaut Koichi Wakata of the Japanese space agency, JAXA, who had secretly been testing super jocks during his four months on the International Space Station. According to this daring astronaut, he […]

The Zen of Junior High Dodgeball

Here in Seattle, it’s known as Soak ‘Em* and back in 1979, when I was in the seventh grade, it was more brutal than any other game our emotionally damaged gym teacher could select from his vast trunk of torturous and humiliating activities. Hands down, Soak ‘Em was more painful than touch football, more dangerous […]

How To Increase Your Four-Year-Old's Attention Span

Attention Deficient Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) seems to be running rampant, tearing the limbs off Barbie dolls and smashing its toy cars against the wall, within our pre-school population these days. Doctors, psychologists and educators are so darn quick to recommend medications for this problem. But any savvy mother can calm her four-year-old and increase his […]

What, are Tentacles out of Season?

My boss, feeling that his devoted and talented Advertising staff had kicked quite a substantial amount of ass last quarter, took us all out for lunch Friday and then to the Seattle Art Museum to see the Roman Art from the Louvre exhibit. It was, overall, a delightful time, though the experience did ironically force […]

Potter and Poker

I listen to Pete (my husband) talk about poker the same way he listens to me talk about Harry Potter. I have no clue why it’s so important to him, I just know it is. Very, very important. Therefore, just like he sits there and nods his head, making sure he keeps eye contact with […]