The Mommy Trenches ~ "Saturday Morning… (Or…."

Saturday morning… [Or, I’m really Grumpy This Morning]

The time? 5:38 a.m.

“Mommy? Mommy is awake?”

I am now, honey-bunches-of-oats. I am now.


It only took 15 minutes or so, (yes, the “only” is sarcasm) but my two-year-old daughter peed in her potty this morning. Sheesh.
I think she’s a little “shy.” That wouldn’t surprise me because for years I couldn’t even pee if I knew my new husband was in the next room. And at work, I could never use the restroom if there were other people in there.

So, we’ll see how this goes. I left her in there alone for a little bit, and she gets sad because she’s alone, but she actually went in the potty… as opposed to in her pants, like she did yesterday. …Four times.

Ugh. I hate potty training.

HEY, you know what I’m sick of? Mommy Blogs. I’m talking about blogs that don’t talk about anything else besides All Things Mommyhood, and only devoted to Mommies.

I want to tell these women to “Get a Life.”

Yes, I realize, I talk about my daughter a whole lot. But hey, I still have other interests, and I still have non-mommy friends. What I mean by that is it’s not a requirement for my friends to have kids. I swear, some of those women on those blogs only have other “mommy friends.”

Seriously, though. I sometimes think that 9o percent of new moms , when they push that baby out, they push out their personalities and interests and their sense of humor right out with that baby. They become either retarded and/or totally unrealistic. Even their rough days are “okay,” because they just “love their little pumpkin head. They just totally love EVERYTHING about being a mom.

*Eye Roll*

Am I seriously, like, the only mom who, some days, wants to bash her own head into the stove or something else equally violent, in order to escape her child? I mean, sure, I love her, but damn. Some days…

And jeez, she’s not even that bad. I mean, I see kids way worse than her all the time.
And still, their mommies smile and smile.

I don’t f**king feel like smiling. But you know what would make me smile? A Big Ass Mimosa. Hmmm. A screwdriver would be good, too.  We don’t have any orange juice left, though. Maybe I should have a screwdriver without the orange juice. Ha Ha.

I can’t even have a drink in secret, cuz I turn bright red. Boo. So, I took a valerian last night. It’s supposed to be some herbal relaxation crap. Didn’t work. Also, it smells like ass. I should’ve taken a Vicodin or something, instead. Maybe even with a strong drink. Actually, I have Vicodin, but it doesn’t work for me. Apparently, I have high tolerance for pills, but almost none for alcohol. Weird. Although, last night, I did have a stiff drink and it did absolutely nothing for me. I hate that.

I think I may be having a nervous breakdown. Maybe it’s Stay-at-Home-Mom “career burnout.” Maybe. …I don’t know. Pretty sad.

Last 5 posts by Grace Bon

Last 5 posts by Grace Bon