The Mommy Trenches: Yes, I Beat My Child!

My daughter is only three years old, and I am realizing that I’m going to be in trouble in a few years. Not only is she going to be taller than I, she’s going to be smarter than I.

She’s been wanting me to stay with her for a few minutes before bedtime each night. At first I resisted, because she has never had a problem going off to bed alone before, but as my husband pointed out, she’s not going to want me to stay near her like that for very much longer. So every night, I stay in there for about 10 minutes or so. Well, one afternoon, she wanted me to stay with her for a few minutes during naptime. I was reluctant to do it, because I didn’t want it to become a habit with her.

She said to me, “Well, if you stay with me now, then at night, after Daddy comes home, Daddy can stay with me.”

Made sense to me! I mean ─ logical, right?

So later that evening, who does she ask for to stay with her? Me. Of course.

I GOT OUTSMARTED BY A THREE-YEAR-OLD. How is that logic from a 3-year-old made sense, to me and I agreed to do something that I didn’t want to do?

If she’s talking me into doing things now, I’m in deep, deep trouble by the time she’s 12!

So, since she’s going to be taller and smarter than I, I figure that the best thing to do is to put the fear of God into her early… like, now. Since she’s had the ability to speak since before she was a year old, I have expected that she do as I say. And if she doesn’t, she gets punished. By ‘punished’, I mean of course, she gets spanked. Sorry, but ‘time outs’ don’t work for this kid. She thinks it’s a game of sorts. She laughs through the whole thing, and wants to do ‘time outs’ on her own even when she’s not bad. (She’s a little odd, I guess.)

Spankings however, are very effective. Just a threat of one now, and she does what I tell her to do… for the most part, anyway.

I used to be very reluctant to spank her in public. I mean, once she was being quite bad at the park, so I gave her a quick swat. You’d think that I punched her in the face by the reactions of the moms around me. The collective “GASP” was quite audible.

Really? I mean, it’s not like I’m abusing my child. I’m leaving no marks and it doesn’t hurt. I mean, it’s just a quick smack. It’s not like when *I* was a kid (and I walked to school for miles in the snow… uphill both ways!) and we really got spanked.

But at this point, I just don’t care anymore. She’s my child and I will raise her the way I see fit. If she misbehaves, I will punish her with the punishment that works for her. I will not allow my child to get away with some of the things I see other kids get away with. For example, I was at a restaurant and this kid was just being a brat. I mean, just a real pain in the ass. And I could hear his mom, asking, exasperated, “Do you want a ‘time out’? Do you want a ‘time out’?” She must’ve asked him a dozen times. And I wanted to stand up and say, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST GIVE HIM A TIME OUT ALREADY.”

Don’t get me wrong. My child can misbehave with the worst of them. But when she is bad, I give her a warning and if she doesn’t listen, then I follow through. The public be damned. I don’t care who stares at me if I need to give her a swat because ─ guess what? Those people don’t mean anything to me. They don’t help raise my child, they don’t help pay my bills, so they should have absolutely no say in how I discipline my child.

I used to be worried about someone calling Child Protective Services on me, and I’m just not anymore. Besides, my cop buddy said that what I’m doing definitely isn’t child abuse. It’s just ‘discipline’, pure and simple. So, bring ’em on. And if they don’t like what I’m doing, that’s just too bad. Maybe people should be more worried about how they’re raising their own children, instead of judging me for the way I’m raising mine. Anyone who judges me off of a spank I give my child has never seen the hours every day that I play with her, read to her, and love her. One (or more. HeHe.) spank every day or two isn’t going to damage my child’s psyche. I think that she really needs to know what’s right and wrong, and a spank is the most effective (and quickest) way of getting my point across to my child.

So, for those parents who can use time out effectively, well, good for you. Just don’t judge me if you see me spank my kid.

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Last 5 posts by Grace Bon

Last 5 posts by Grace Bon