by Grace Bon
I wrote a previous article for women about things they never tell you about your own pregnancy.
This one’s for the men…
1. Your partner is tired. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a baby? There are eyelashes and fingernails and lungs and other various organs to be cooked up. It’s a lot of hard work. Your partner’s body is working overtime. So if she’s just lying on the couch? LET HER. Don’t look at her weird. Don’t make passive-aggressive comments about how it’s only 6 p.m. and that you’d really like something to eat after your hard day at work. She’s working hard externally and internally. Cut her a break. Also, think of it this way. Every night that she goes to sleep early? That’s free time for YOU! You can finish that book or project you never got around to finishing. My husband got to play so many video games every night, it was ridiculous… RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME!
2. Do NOT, under any circumstances, say, “Should you be eating that?” Unless it’s poisonous, let her eat whatever she wants. Moms don’t really need to be eating for two. Not unless they want to gain a ton of weight… but you know what? Sometimes you just have to have that second éclair!
3. If the two of you are having a hard time picking out a name, consider letting her have the first pick. Let’s be honest ─ she’s carrying the baby, who is probably wreaking havoc on her body. She’ll be doing most of the caretaking. So, it would be a nice gesture. And what’s the point of fighting about a name? You’ll probably end up calling your kid “Princess” or “Buddy” or some other little nickname, anyway.
4. Be courteous of the fact that your schedule will probably not change all that much. Your partner’s, however, will be topsy-turvy crazy. Even if you’re helping with the feedings at night, the majority of the time, most of the heavy lifting is all up to her. So if she asks you to do something, try not to complain that it’s cutting into your time. She doesn’t get to have HER time anymore. Even getting a shower in is a treat for her nowadays.
5. She might be a little hormonal. If you’re lucky, she’ll be hormonal in a good way. You know, like…horny. If you’re not lucky, you might suffer like my husband did. You know, like the opposite of horny. Remind yourself (you might even have to do this daily) why you fell in love with her in the first place. And remember that this is temporary. The first year or two is hard. But what’s a year or two compared to the rest of your life? It’ll all be worth it. Eventually. Just be patient. Your wife/partner doesn’t like being a crazy person. Sometimes we just can’t help it. (Oh, and not to brag, but my husband was pretty fantastic no matter what. And I never had to give him any sort of advice, no nagging or anything.)
6. I’m feeling generous, so here’s a last one, which is probably the most important one of all. If she’s in her last trimester and she happens to be wearing a red shirt, don’t EVER tell her she looks like the Kool-Aid Man.
Being with a pregnant lady isn’t always easy, but, remember ─ she is the mother of your child. Treat her with love and respect, and when her crazy hormones settle down, she’ll reciprocate.
Last 5 posts by Grace Bon
- "The Mommy Trenches" Why Don’t Some Moms Know Their Kids are Jerks? - October 7th, 2011
- ‘Fat’ Mommy - December 17th, 2010
- Poopy-Pants - Just Another Day in The Mommy Trenches - June 29th, 2010
- The Mommy Trenches: God Smote My Child’s Personality to Punish Me (At Least, I Think So) - March 3rd, 2010
- The Mommy Trenches: Yes, I Beat My Child! - August 22nd, 2009