Take a Trip Around the Heart

Photo: "Vintage Umbrella #5" by Lydia Selk

I wait for cold, rain drenched week-nights when everyone is inside warming up to each other after work and the streets become as hollow and sad as a drained can of Coca-Cola. I like to wander down to 59W and 44th, to stand, hip cocked in the middle of the intersection, flipping a dripping pink Gerbera daisy lazily at my side. I often simply stand and stare pensively up towards 6th. I like to experience types of love in extreme conditions because my mind has a funny way of making my body feel insulated from the world when the hurt becomes too much. If I lose touch deeply enough, vehicles moving down the road slip soundlessly past my silhouetted soul, their rumbling sound muffled like a muted trumpet. Even if experiencing love is merely hearing some no-name talent practicing for a weekend gig in the old Oak Room behind me, the sound of a saxophone, or piano, or bass, or voice is enough to invoke an apparition of you. For those fleeting moments to me you are still alive and I want to hear the music of your voice just one more time. Here on the street, in the rain, in the cold, you appear.

Laugh for me. Say my name. Touch my hand and sing for me. Please just sing a few notes into my ear, so I can feel your breath. Remind me that you didn’t leave me alone on purpose. I’ll eventually work out if that straight line of pavement I’m staring at really does curve to the right where it fades from sight. I’ve heard that up there, so far that the music fades, one can travel along the curved portion of road and it will swing a sharp left turn and a new curve will continue on and on and on. Apparently there is an identically straight road on the other side. I’ve been told that over there is where you will be. Left up center, on the avenue, in a heartbeat, I might find you… standing at the tip of there and here between the junction of two large sweeping curves. I just wonder if living with this loneliness is easier than living with the loneliness of discovering nothing but another swanky jazz bar. Take a trip around the heart and find lost love on the other side. Sure. Happy St. Valentine’s my love. I miss you so very much.

___________________________________

Last 5 posts by Michelle Shannon

Last 5 posts by Michelle Shannon