Tighter ~ Coping with Depression, Part II

Getting your head screwed on right is a lot of work. And as we all know, lying in bed and hiding from the world doesn’t help.

The first aspect I tackled was my heart. Spiritually, that is. I went to bed Saturday night night thinking that I wouldn’t go to church on Sunday. I was tired… I wanted to sleep in. At 9:30 this morning my daughter’s little friends rang the doorbell looking for her. I ignored it and they went away. But, at 10 am they tried again and I shuffled downstairs to let them know she wouldn’t be home until later that evening. Sigh. Okay God – You got Your point across.

Off to the shower I took myself.

The sermon today was about loving yourself. Ha. Very appropriate. The pastor spoke of putting “motion” back into emotion. If you feel something, do something about it. To love others, we have to love ourselves. To love God, we must allow God to love us. It’s a domino effect.

I was still sad, but felt moved by the sermon when I left church, like an aspect of my heart healing again…one that has been raw for a long time. It got me thinking to when I was happiest and most secure in my skin. It was right after my separation, surprisingly. I was free of a toxic marriage, I was eating healthy food, I was working out, and spending a lot of time in the sun. And I was also going to church regularly. I looked and felt the best emotionally and physically that I had in my life. I wasn’t emotionally involved with anyone except my children, I wasn’t ready to date yet. My life was changing, but there was a lot of inner peace in me about that change, because I had faith that whatever life had in store for me, I could handle it.

In thinking about all of this, I decided to implement some of those things back into my life today so I could hopefully attain some of that peace again.

First step… I joined a gym. Lifetime Fitness. I was a member there a couple years ago when I was still married, so I knew the facility. It’s a bit pricey, but I think it will kill a couple of birds with one stone. I’d been considering moving because I live in a landlord-owned townhouse, and I was missing some of the amenities of apartment living, most significantly the pool and the fitness center. However, I get a great rental rate and a lot of room in the townhouse, and if I moved into an apartment community, it would be for significantly more rent and less space. But I’d have access to a pool and fitness center on site.  But Lifetime Fitness gym has an awesome indoor and outdoor pool, as well as a child care facility with indoor exercise equipment for the children… including a climbing wall for my daughter’s age group. So, rather than move and raise my rent, I pay a monthly fee to have access to the gym, childcare and pool. I think it’s a good move.

I worked out right after I signed up, and I have to say – after I did 2 miles on the treadmill, 2 miles on the bike and then 50 crunches – I felt GREAT! Then I sat in the sauna for about 15 minutes, followed by a shower before I went to pick up the kids from their dad’s. I must admit, I felt so refreshed and proud of myself. I really hope this is a new routine and trend for me.

So getting my head screwed on tighter is as easy as trying to get my body and soul healthier and ‘tighter’ too.

Oh and I finally sucked it up and took my Celexa. Damn that pill, but it does make me feel better.

Last 5 posts by Miranda Krebbs