Harriet Harmon, Wanker of the Week

The day after the US gives itself a fine clean sheet by swearing in a brand, shiny, new president, British politics follows by…..offering us a new candidate for “Wanker of the Week.”

How marvellous. We are so proud. Below, for your viewing pleasure, is BBC News coverage of protesters who have taken residence on the roof of Harriet Harmon’s home, in protest of some of her actions and policies:


Yes, this week’s Wanker comes in the sternly-suited form of our helmet-haired leader of the House of Commons, Harriet Harman, a woman whose main claim to political fame is that she’s slightly less inept than Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, and she was once ‘Equality Minister’, one of the most impressively titled and well paid non-jobs ever created.

So what has ‘Harridan Harman’ done this week to merit this fine award? Well, she’s proposing a rule change, to be debated in Parliament, that will remove “most expenditures held by either House of Parliament from the scope of the Freedom of Information Act”.

For those of us who have English, rather than Bullsh*t as a first language, I will translate ─ she is proposing a rule change that will ensure MPs expenses are kept secret from the public. Note: It’s just MPs expenses, not expenses of every state paid worker.

No, it’s just MPs who apparently deserve not to run the gauntlet of getting outed for spending the GDP of Luxembourg on first class travel courtesy of Johnny Public. If the proposal goes through, then no one would be entitled to know exactly how much of our MPs nests we have paid to feather.

This would be a distinct advantage for those such as Stevenage MP Barbara Follet, who billed the taxpayer more than £1600 for window cleaning. Our window cleaner charges £4 a week, hers, it would seem, charges over £30.

Do you think:

a) She has a f*ck sight more windows than I? Seven point five times more windows, to be precise, making a total of 52.

b) She lives in a large greenhouse?

c) The window cleaner is stealing from her, and instead of getting a new one she’s just putting the difference through on expenses?

d) She’s a cheeky cow who is taking the piss?

Please leave your answers in the ‘Comments Section’ below.

Harriet is looking to take away this pesky scrutiny by the taxpayer, which does, after all, detract from the important cabinet job of working out how to funnel more taxpayer’s cash into their personal accounts, trying to think of new and exciting ways to remove civil rights using the words “war on terror”, and “national security”, and looking for stuff to ban.

Entertainingly, yet not entirely surprisingly, it’s only the government who wants this rule pushed through. The Lib Dem MPs and the Conservatives have been issued with a three-line whip, and the instructions from their bosses that they will vote against it, because they believe it would be bad for the public image of politics in this country. But hey ─ Labour have never let the reputation of politics get in the way of their madcap plans before, so they aren’t all that likely to start now, are they?

Harriet has said that information about expenses claims needs to be given in an “affordable and proportionate manner”; her cast-iron disregard for reality ensuring that she entirely misses the irony that if Labour MPs expenses claims were “affordable and proportionate”, then they wouldn’t have to hide them.

We must also pause for a moment to admire the chutzpah of this bunch of monkeys, who, in time- honoured tradition chose a busy news day ─ the day the expansion of Heathrow was announced ─ to try and sneak this little gem through, in the hope that no one would notice.

Bad luck, chaps.

So, while Barack Obama is telling Americans that, “Those of us who manage the public will be held to account ─ to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day ─ because only then can we restore the vital trust between a government and its people”, Harriet is telling us to “F*ck off and mind your own business, you nosy plebs ─ we are of a better class, more clever and more important than you, and if you keep interfering, we’re going to move the goalposts. If you don’t like it, you can kiss my over-sized arse, because we make the rules and we don’t give a toss what you think”.

How very noble of her.

So, let’s hear it for Harriet Harman, who has undoubtedly won Wanker of the Week.

You can come on down and collect your prize, Harriet. But no ─ you can’t put the bus fare on expenses.


Editors’ note to readers: For another fascinating take on Harriet Harmon’s politics, visit www.harrietharmonsucks.com


Last 5 posts by Vicola England

Last 5 posts by Vicola England