“The Mommy Trenches” Why Don’t Some Moms Know Their Kids are Jerks?

In a few short months, my daughter will be starting kindergarten. I don’t know if I’m ready for this. Aside from the fact that she will be coming home with disgusting kid-germs every day and will most likely be sick ALL THE TIME, I’m just a tad worried about the social aspect. I know she […]

Things They Never Tell You About Your Partner’s Pregnancy

by Grace Bon I wrote a previous article for women about things they never tell you about your own pregnancy. This one’s for the men… 1. Your partner is tired. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a baby? There are eyelashes and fingernails and lungs and other various organs to […]

‘Fat’ Mommy

by Grace Bon So… I have a confession. The weight on my driver’s license? It’s wrong. Totally wrong. I no longer weigh 105 lbs. I know. Shocking, isn’t it? In fact, it’s been quite a few years since my weight has been 105. And I think part of me is in denial. Like, I think […]

Poopy-Pants – Just Another Day in The Mommy Trenches

by Grace Bon The other day we went to pick my niece up from pre-school. I waited in the car with my daughter while my cousin ran out to the classroom to get her daughter. It was just a normal afternoon. Or so I thought. I happened to look around and noticed a boy in […]

The Mommy Trenches: God Smote My Child’s Personality to Punish Me (At Least, I Think So)

Before I start writing here, I’d like to issue a few disclaimers: 1. I know that ADD is real and I’m not making light of it, even if it sounds like it. 2. I love my daughter, more than anything or anyone else in the world. She’s everything to me. 3. I’m not a bad […]

The Mommy Trenches: Yes, I Beat My Child!

My daughter is only three years old, and I am realizing that I’m going to be in trouble in a few years. Not only is she going to be taller than I, she’s going to be smarter than I. She’s been wanting me to stay with her for a few minutes before bedtime each night. […]

Things That Bug Me About the Way You Talk

Look, I write the way I speak. I am no grammar nazi, by any stretch of the imagination, but this stuff really bugs me. I don’t know why, it just DOES: 1. supposebly It’s “SUPPOSEDLY.” That’s a “D,” not a “B.” 2. I could care less If you COULD care less, then please, by all […]

The Baby Shower Invite ─ Another Annoyance in The Mommy Trenches

It’s Wednesday and I’m slightly thrown off because I’m sick and because my toddler went to her grandma’s today, instead of her usual day (tomorrow)… So, I’m not sure if I’m just cranky because I’m sick or if I am just simply annoyed at this… I just got a baby shower invite and this person’s […]

The Mommy Trenches: The Royal Federation of Procreation

“Yeah,” she said, “I hate it when people have babies and suddenly their only friends are other people who have kids.” This is a line I’ve heard often. There’s this attitude amongst the young unmarrieds at my local church that the “Holy Grail of Belonging” is popping out the babies. I can remember being on […]

The Mommy Trenches ~ "Saturday Morning… (Or…."

Saturday morning… [Or, I’m really Grumpy This Morning] The time? 5:38 a.m. “Mommy? Mommy is awake?” I am now, honey-bunches-of-oats. I am now. *Sigh* It only took 15 minutes or so, (yes, the “only” is sarcasm) but my two-year-old daughter peed in her potty this morning. Sheesh. I think she’s a little “shy.” That wouldn’t […]